Struggling

Last night, I realized how much of a spiritual desert I am in. My life is as stressful as ever, but right now, I am just cruising spiritually. How did I let this happen? Why did I let this happen? How do I protect myself from this in the future? Really, I think I am ready for another retreat. The one I attended last Advent was wonderful. However, I am thinking, just as I need gas in the car, a good filling of your spiritual tank takes you far; or at least 294 miles (Saturn Vue).

I am equipping myself tonight. The first part is my attitude. I've been struggling with my church parish lately...I often judge it isn't Catholic enough. What can help me here? 2 Corinthians 12: 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.""

I am also unsure of the path the Lord has me on right now. I continue to question my role in the provision for my family. Deacon Daddy and I have always counted my career as a blessing for our family, but I also struggle with the fact that I am a mother to my core. I just received a promotion at work, and I am excited about it. It means more money for our family, a satisfying career, and affirmation of a job well done. I must keep this in perspective, that this is more blessing from the Lord, and not something that "I" did. Still, I don't understand the path...What can help me here? Ah, my favorite verse in the whole Bible: Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! plans to give you a future full of hope." This is a promise that sustains me.

These are the main struggles I am having. I want to come to the cross with these struggles and leave them at the cross. I want to look at the Lord on Sunday, and tell Him face to face that I love Him. I want to tell Him that I trust Him to take care of me and our family. I am now more excited to go to Church, and to listen to the song of my heart...

MFW