Your Grace is Enough

I have had an awful week, full of retreats and bitterness.  I won't go much into it, because I am now trying to have a gentle spirit, and be docile in my life.  BTW, docile, according to www.dictionary.com's second definition means "teachable."  I used to believe it meant gentle or humble, or submissive.  I don't know why I thought this, but I did.  Now, I am trying to be "teachable."  Isn't this what I tell my staff all the time?  Coachable...teachable...disciplined...able to follow as well as able to lead?

My lessons of this week are too many to name or even comprehend.  My spirit is stirred, and I am trying to listen to the Lord's messages of mercy and love in my life, and in my family's time together.  I reflected on Matt Maher's song, "Your Grace is Enough," and I have received many graces from the Lord this week.  Here are a few of the graces:

1. I love my husband now more than ever.  I never did not love him, but even more so this week, I recognize that his humble spirit and docility are what I am missing in my life.  He is an excellent example and leader in our home.  Praise be to God that He saw fit to bring us together in Holy Matrimony.
2. I can't control outcome to my prayers.  I pray in great expectation of being heard, but I must be open to the Lord's answers, and not my own...the Lord's time, and not my own...the Lord's wisdom, and not my own.
3. I love Paul, and I am so thankful for the wisdom of the Holy Catholic Church, and Pope Benedict, that he saw fit to make this the year of St. Paul.  What a year of CONVERSION!  My own first...Paul tells it like it is...especially about our Eucharist...Look at 1Corinthians 11:  23-33.  Paul is also very clear about the gifts of the Holy Spirit...and how docility is an aid to being open to the gifts (see 1 Corinthians 12).
4. To continue with Paul, speaking to the new Christians at Corinth, and to us today, in 2009, Paul says the Lord told him the following:  "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."  I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.  Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Paul is great in Christ!  God is good all the time.  Love is above all.  God is love.  I am in a better place now.  Thank you, Jesus!

MFW

I have had time to think...and Read...

So, my earlier post was a rant about blah blah blah. Today, I read the daily readings from the USCCB, which I will post the first reading here...

Reading 1
1 Jn 4:7-10

Beloved, let us love one another,
because love is of God;
everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.
Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.
In this way the love of God was revealed to us:
God sent his only-begotten Son into the world
so that we might have life through him.
In this is love:
not that we have loved God, but that he loved us
and sent his Son as expiation for our sins.


God didn't need to hit me over the head any harder! Love is the answer. Love...And, I was listening to Matt Maher this morning singing "As it is in Heaven," which is an excellent musical and lyrical version of the Lord's Prayer. In it, he speaks of God's mercy. I am asking for mercy and forgiveness for my bitterness and anger over the last few weeks. I am going to turn to love. That doesn't mean I don't think these things are wrong (ok, maybe God does need to beat me over the head), I just believe that one of Jesus' message to us was love.

Peace out,
MFW

Is Anyone Catholic Anymore?

This weekend has been a test of my faith. I am praying that I listen to the Lord, and to my husband in these matters.

I am a proud parent of a first reconciliation candidate. Elani makes her first reconciliation next weekend. This weekend, she attended her retreat. During the retreat, the catechist continually pointed to herself, kept using herself as an example of proud/pride/etc. I was consistently bothered throughout the entire retreat, listening to this. Never did she talk about how leaving a legacy for your children grounded in God's forgiveness. She continued to talk about how leaving a legacy for your children so they remember you when you are gone is the most important thing. UGH...so that started off my weekend.

My second retreat of the weekend was the Confirmation retreat. I sponsor one of the candidates. She is an excellent teen-ager, actively growing in her faith. She is a teen that my daughter looks at as a role model, and I am happy to have her do so.

There was so much propaganda during this retreat that I almost walked out of the retreat. I am praying right now about whether or not to talk to my priest about it. I am concerned for the candidates, but I am honestly very concerned about my daughter being catechized. Things were spoken of during the retreat that really sounded like moral relativism. This bothered me quite a bit. Additionally, during Mass, the youth were very out of it, not responding to prayers, not listening to the homily, chewing gum, etc. HOW DISAPPOINTING!!

Everyone tells me that the future of the Church is in the youth. This scares me. Though there are some very good examples of young faithful Christianity, I am honestly seeing examples I fear as role modeling. I know as a parent, I am most responsible for my children's faith formation. However, after this weekend, I can see the influence the catechist have on the kids, and I see the misinformation that is out there.

Some may think, "Well, do you teach CCD?" The answer is that I currently do not because of a recent discernment. But, maybe the Lord is leading me back. I am only one person, though, what can I do? What happens when my daughter gets to the Confirmation class and gets misinformation? My daughter talks to me plenty, but she may not mention everything. I can't correct things I don't know she is learning.

I asked my husband to please pray about us staying in this church parish. I am not sure what else to do.

Happy Epiphany!

MFW