Chapel Veil...Really?

My best friend and I (my husband and I) had a young seminarian over the other night for some dinner, wii challenges (I lost and quit), and some conversation. Who knew that an old lady could stay up until midnight discussing the theology behind the chapel veil?

My heart was stirred during this conversation between my husband, future Deacon Daddy, as he is affectionately known, and the young seminarian (we'll call him Brad for short). Deacon Daddy knew lots, and this shocked me. As he was talking, I was falling more and more in love with him. His understanding of the faith, and his determination to lead our family is amazing! I love hearing him talk about these things, and I often wonder, "How does he know this stuff?" "Brad" was talking about the beauty of women and the beautiful women wearing chapel veils. We also veered on a tangent of liturgical dance, which, to my dismay, is not as beautiful liturgically as it sounds. I asked Deacon Daddy..."Do you want me to wear a chapel veil?" Deacon Daddy responds, "I am not going to make you wear a chapel veil, but if you wore one, I wouldn't oppose it." Translation...Maybe you should pray about it.

Why is this being stirred up in me at this point in my life? I was so happy going through life as a Catholic who is very faithful, knows more than the average bear (excuse me, Catholic), and loves her NFP living lifestyle. Who needs to push it further than that? I figure with all Deacon Daddy and I have been through, all the graces we've received (thank the Lord for everything!), and the way we are raising the girls, then things are pretty good, right? Why rock the boat??? I told Deacon Daddy that night that I would pray about it, and so I have and am. But, I told him that I thought there were bigger things we needed to change in our lives before tackling the chapel veil.

So, what are those things? Well, as I was reading verses in the Bible about veiling, "Brad" reminded me to remember that Paul was writing to the women of the time. In 1 Corinthians 11:3-16, I was not convinced that this meant for me to veil my head during time in church. I begged Deacon Daddy and "Brad" to understand that I would be the only one in our church to veil. Both tried to convince me that I could start the trend, for which I was not buying!! I tried to understand my feelings of fear and fear and fear. I don't want to be the freaky 30 something in church with a veiled head. Both said they understood, they thought what I was thinking was I don't want to attract attention to me, instead of the Mass. YES, I thought. This is it. But, was this really it?

As I started reading and praying, I also recalled Ephesians 5. I recalled when Steve (Deacon Daddy) and I got married in the early 90's. I refused to have Ephesians 5 read. I was not going to be submissive. Fast forward 16 years later....here I am in my living room telling Steve that if wants me to wear the chapel veil, I would oblige. To my big issues before the consideration of veiling...

What is missing from my faith? What is missing from my marriage? What is missing from my life? I thought to a homily that our priest gave on dress at church. I thought, "Surely he isn't talking about me...I wear respectable capris!" Well, fast forward to July 23, 2008. This conversation about veiling brought me to the importance of what is going on in Mass. I've always known what is going on. In a recent Bible Study with women at our Church, we did a chapter on the Eucharist. I want to fall to my knees now. Beg for mercy that I may receive in a worthy manner. But, we are not worthy. It is the mystery of God, His loving mercy, and His unconditional love of us that we are able to approach the throne of Grace and receive Our Lord on our tongue every single day of our lives, if we choose. Wow...stop...collaborate...and listen (from Vanilla Ice!). This brought me to my dress...is the way I present myself at Church correct or incorrect? My heart stirred, and brought my mind to the idea of modesty. We have 4 girls. I don't want to lead them astray. I want them to be ready when the "bridegroom" comes.

For the past 3 days, I've been searching for articles on modesty. I've committed this to prayer. As I told Deacon Daddy, I want to be as feminine as I can be. I want him to see me as beautiful. I am starting to look at my wardrobe, and assess each piece of clothing through the eyes of modesty and femininity. We will see where it takes me...

Mary