Last night, I was witness to one of the most reverent and amazing sites of my life...our Lord Jesus processing throughout our church's activity center, and then through the parking lot of the church, followed by 200 teenagers and families. How beautiful was the Body of Christ...both literally in the Monstrance, and literally as I watched these youth from the surrounding Baton Rouge area reverently and solemnly follow our Lord right into the church, to land on the altar table. I was full of awe and wonder. My heart pounded as the procession drew near my station. I am brought to the hymn, "How Beautiful." The house band, who I begged to play soft music, did the exact music my soul needed to hear. The incense invited me to follow the Lord right into the Church, and listen to the beautiful priest prayer and sing our beliefs and love of the Lord. I was able to adore and love our Lord, and KNOW He was present to us as a community of believers. To watch, as each of my children reverently stood and kneeled before the Ever-Knowing and Loving Lord of All. To hear the musicians announce that the King of Kings was about to be in our midst in a very real and wonderful way...
I am going to tell you that I've been to Adoration many times in the last few years. This Adoration...This loving and praising the Lord...this witness to our Faith...this was different last night. This was Our Lord, exposed to us all...to 200 youth who will change our world with the love of Christ...This was Christ speaking to me as a woman of faith...to be before our Lord and loving Him. What a blessing I feel to be Catholic right now...to have the grace of receiving the Lord freely everyday...to gaze at Him in the Real Presence...I could go on forever about this. I want to be in this Presence every day. The idea of spiritual communion and other such blessings of our faith begin to consume me.
My thirst for more...more faith, more wisdom, more sacramental graces from my baptism, my marriage, my confirmation...where do I begin? I am not sure. But, this moment will go down in my life as one of the Beautiful times my family and I were experiencing the Lord. What a blessing!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Chapel Veil...Really?
My best friend and I (my husband and I) had a young seminarian over the other night for some dinner, wii challenges (I lost and quit), and some conversation. Who knew that an old lady could stay up until midnight discussing the theology behind the chapel veil?
My heart was stirred during this conversation between my husband, future Deacon Daddy, as he is affectionately known, and the young seminarian (we'll call him Brad for short). Deacon Daddy knew lots, and this shocked me. As he was talking, I was falling more and more in love with him. His understanding of the faith, and his determination to lead our family is amazing! I love hearing him talk about these things, and I often wonder, "How does he know this stuff?" "Brad" was talking about the beauty of women and the beautiful women wearing chapel veils. We also veered on a tangent of liturgical dance, which, to my dismay, is not as beautiful liturgically as it sounds. I asked Deacon Daddy..."Do you want me to wear a chapel veil?" Deacon Daddy responds, "I am not going to make you wear a chapel veil, but if you wore one, I wouldn't oppose it." Translation...Maybe you should pray about it.
Why is this being stirred up in me at this point in my life? I was so happy going through life as a Catholic who is very faithful, knows more than the average bear (excuse me, Catholic), and loves her NFP living lifestyle. Who needs to push it further than that? I figure with all Deacon Daddy and I have been through, all the graces we've received (thank the Lord for everything!), and the way we are raising the girls, then things are pretty good, right? Why rock the boat??? I told Deacon Daddy that night that I would pray about it, and so I have and am. But, I told him that I thought there were bigger things we needed to change in our lives before tackling the chapel veil.
So, what are those things? Well, as I was reading verses in the Bible about veiling, "Brad" reminded me to remember that Paul was writing to the women of the time. In 1 Corinthians 11:3-16, I was not convinced that this meant for me to veil my head during time in church. I begged Deacon Daddy and "Brad" to understand that I would be the only one in our church to veil. Both tried to convince me that I could start the trend, for which I was not buying!! I tried to understand my feelings of fear and fear and fear. I don't want to be the freaky 30 something in church with a veiled head. Both said they understood, they thought what I was thinking was I don't want to attract attention to me, instead of the Mass. YES, I thought. This is it. But, was this really it?
As I started reading and praying, I also recalled Ephesians 5. I recalled when Steve (Deacon Daddy) and I got married in the early 90's. I refused to have Ephesians 5 read. I was not going to be submissive. Fast forward 16 years later....here I am in my living room telling Steve that if wants me to wear the chapel veil, I would oblige. To my big issues before the consideration of veiling...
What is missing from my faith? What is missing from my marriage? What is missing from my life? I thought to a homily that our priest gave on dress at church. I thought, "Surely he isn't talking about me...I wear respectable capris!" Well, fast forward to July 23, 2008. This conversation about veiling brought me to the importance of what is going on in Mass. I've always known what is going on. In a recent Bible Study with women at our Church, we did a chapter on the Eucharist. I want to fall to my knees now. Beg for mercy that I may receive in a worthy manner. But, we are not worthy. It is the mystery of God, His loving mercy, and His unconditional love of us that we are able to approach the throne of Grace and receive Our Lord on our tongue every single day of our lives, if we choose. Wow...stop...collaborate...and listen (from Vanilla Ice!). This brought me to my dress...is the way I present myself at Church correct or incorrect? My heart stirred, and brought my mind to the idea of modesty. We have 4 girls. I don't want to lead them astray. I want them to be ready when the "bridegroom" comes.
For the past 3 days, I've been searching for articles on modesty. I've committed this to prayer. As I told Deacon Daddy, I want to be as feminine as I can be. I want him to see me as beautiful. I am starting to look at my wardrobe, and assess each piece of clothing through the eyes of modesty and femininity. We will see where it takes me...
Mary
My heart was stirred during this conversation between my husband, future Deacon Daddy, as he is affectionately known, and the young seminarian (we'll call him Brad for short). Deacon Daddy knew lots, and this shocked me. As he was talking, I was falling more and more in love with him. His understanding of the faith, and his determination to lead our family is amazing! I love hearing him talk about these things, and I often wonder, "How does he know this stuff?" "Brad" was talking about the beauty of women and the beautiful women wearing chapel veils. We also veered on a tangent of liturgical dance, which, to my dismay, is not as beautiful liturgically as it sounds. I asked Deacon Daddy..."Do you want me to wear a chapel veil?" Deacon Daddy responds, "I am not going to make you wear a chapel veil, but if you wore one, I wouldn't oppose it." Translation...Maybe you should pray about it.
Why is this being stirred up in me at this point in my life? I was so happy going through life as a Catholic who is very faithful, knows more than the average bear (excuse me, Catholic), and loves her NFP living lifestyle. Who needs to push it further than that? I figure with all Deacon Daddy and I have been through, all the graces we've received (thank the Lord for everything!), and the way we are raising the girls, then things are pretty good, right? Why rock the boat??? I told Deacon Daddy that night that I would pray about it, and so I have and am. But, I told him that I thought there were bigger things we needed to change in our lives before tackling the chapel veil.
So, what are those things? Well, as I was reading verses in the Bible about veiling, "Brad" reminded me to remember that Paul was writing to the women of the time. In 1 Corinthians 11:3-16, I was not convinced that this meant for me to veil my head during time in church. I begged Deacon Daddy and "Brad" to understand that I would be the only one in our church to veil. Both tried to convince me that I could start the trend, for which I was not buying!! I tried to understand my feelings of fear and fear and fear. I don't want to be the freaky 30 something in church with a veiled head. Both said they understood, they thought what I was thinking was I don't want to attract attention to me, instead of the Mass. YES, I thought. This is it. But, was this really it?
As I started reading and praying, I also recalled Ephesians 5. I recalled when Steve (Deacon Daddy) and I got married in the early 90's. I refused to have Ephesians 5 read. I was not going to be submissive. Fast forward 16 years later....here I am in my living room telling Steve that if wants me to wear the chapel veil, I would oblige. To my big issues before the consideration of veiling...
What is missing from my faith? What is missing from my marriage? What is missing from my life? I thought to a homily that our priest gave on dress at church. I thought, "Surely he isn't talking about me...I wear respectable capris!" Well, fast forward to July 23, 2008. This conversation about veiling brought me to the importance of what is going on in Mass. I've always known what is going on. In a recent Bible Study with women at our Church, we did a chapter on the Eucharist. I want to fall to my knees now. Beg for mercy that I may receive in a worthy manner. But, we are not worthy. It is the mystery of God, His loving mercy, and His unconditional love of us that we are able to approach the throne of Grace and receive Our Lord on our tongue every single day of our lives, if we choose. Wow...stop...collaborate...and listen (from Vanilla Ice!). This brought me to my dress...is the way I present myself at Church correct or incorrect? My heart stirred, and brought my mind to the idea of modesty. We have 4 girls. I don't want to lead them astray. I want them to be ready when the "bridegroom" comes.
For the past 3 days, I've been searching for articles on modesty. I've committed this to prayer. As I told Deacon Daddy, I want to be as feminine as I can be. I want him to see me as beautiful. I am starting to look at my wardrobe, and assess each piece of clothing through the eyes of modesty and femininity. We will see where it takes me...
Mary
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